AIPAC BOARD TO ELECT NEW PRESIDENT

Good Shabbos everyone! We have a bissel of good news for you! AIPAC's Board of Directors is meeting this Friday to elect a new President. This comes after a recent shuffle of the Board of Directors itself. Rosenkranz is the CEO of the technology and defense contract company "Hatov." AIPAC CEO Mark O'Rubio, in charge of business operations of the PAC, was asked about the rumored appointment of Rosenkranz. He replied saying "Finally, we'll get a President with some real meshuggenah!" With antisemitism on the rise among political figures internationally, AIPAC is faced with several unique challenges. Although the PAC has a large base of support, it has yet to achieve its desired level of influence. Rosenkranz has stated that "With Yezter Hara on the rise, it is time for the sons of Hashem to stick together. No longer can we quarrel over this kibbutz or that kibbutz; we are all one family." The PAC is set to finalize the appointment tonight with more announcements to come.