DUP: NOT MAD

In unhinged tantrums across various forums, the important takeaway from the DUP is that they are NOT MAD and to NOT WRITE IN THE PAPERS THAT THEY’RE MAD. DUP Deputy Edward Jones said “I have no intentions on ruining their experience on discord, but to the extent rules allow and for political reasons I will make their lives ingame miserable until they surrender. I am a nice guy, but not in this moment anymore” “Do let them know of their impending doom thank you” This was rapidly followed by a string of insults in discord chats, in-game posts, and other random nonsense, just so we knew that he was not mad, and that he wasn’t intending on ruining anyone’s experience in discord. Asked for comment, the Rt. Hon. Kevin Pisatri (Conservative) said "Tell him to get a life." The DUP responded by dissolving Parliament, a move that very much drove home that they were not at all upset, and that they were in fact the nice people they claimed to be. HM the Queen decreed it will not happen again.