DEFCON 1

At my direction, the Department of War has begun preparations to increase our nation’s military readiness level to ‘ELEVATED’ - the highest available to the strongest military on Earth, higher than the pea-sized brain of any communist can even begin to imagine. We will restore law and order to our cities, we will not allow them to be overrun by America-hating blue-haired vegetarian libtards who want to turn the White House into a sex change clinic! As for Zohran Mamdani, Pakistan is not known for being the cleanest place on Earth. It’s actually a dirty ****hole full of terrorists. I’ve never heard anyone say that they wanna go to Pakistan for vacation! THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION TO THIS MATTER! - Secretary of War